We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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