Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
my liver is dry heaving
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize