I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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