I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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