I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
COCAINE IS GR8
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