...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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