Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
As shirtless as possible
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
