You're my little dorito
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
