You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
