who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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