Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize