I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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