Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
