addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
