we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
