guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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