No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
