Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize