Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
