Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
