i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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