lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
