its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize