sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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