what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
