I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
