tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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