If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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