We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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