I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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