Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize