My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize