Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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