using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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