This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my being single is dangerous.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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