i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
