We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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