fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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