If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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