it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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