somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
