i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize