Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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