I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
