you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
