what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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