Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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