he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
