I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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