I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
