ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
