you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
