I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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