What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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