Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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