it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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