YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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