Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
