the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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