apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
