went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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