I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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