the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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