Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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