My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize