In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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