We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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