ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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