singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
